how i really feel

how can i be so hyper,
when my heart is breaking.
how can i type,
when my hands keep shaking.
we hardly ever talk anymore,
but when we do it is amazing.
we laugh and cut up,
and i just find myself dreaming.
Thinking, wishing, feeling,
all while silently crying.
I must look strong,
but my armor is battered and torn.
You are what i miss,
all those moments of bliss,
thinking, wanting, hoping,
for that single kiss
that kiss that would change,
our lives forever.
That would reveal a love,
that could last forever.
But your curves are what i desire,
the slay me like a gun for hire.
My feelings run so deep,
so true...these feelings
that i have for you.
so as we joke and laugh
just remember,
i may look satisfied,
but my real emotions,
those i tend to hide